ET's Info-Stew

Though my body says it's 10:50pm, the clock reads 1:50am. I'm in Orlando and in less than six hours I'll be waking up to start my SANS class. I would have liked to get to bed sooner, but then this blog post would not be nearly as interesting. Let's start off by saying, I'm INFURIATED!!!

I left to go on travel at about 9:40 am, picking up a flight out of Oakland at 11:25 am, a connection in Nashville at 6:10 pm (Central), and landing at 8:50 pm (Eastern). That should have put me at the hotel at about 9:30 pm, with time to go out and get a bite to eat. Well, that didn't quite work out, as I was soon to learn after getting through security in Oakland. I checked the departure board and found my flight...departing at 12:20 pm, an hour late. Hmmm.

I had a quick chat with the unfriendly attendant at the gate, who could only confirm the delay and inform me that they were working on figuring out how to get me and another dozen people to Orlando. I read several pages of my book (I was two thirds of the way through) and finally heard the attendant tell people to go talk to customer service to get information about connecting flights. I told the lady at customer service that I was supposed to pick up a flight to Orlando in Nashville, and she immediately told me I would make that connection without any problem.

"So that other flight is delayed too?", I asked. I don't think that was the response she expected. She decided to take my name and connecting flight information and "double check". Well it's a good thing she did because it turns out, I would be missing that flight.

Tappity-tappity-tap on the keyboard..."Okay you'll be taking Flight 75 from Nashville to Orlando, departing at 9:20 pm. When you get to the gate just tell them what's going on and they'll get you a boarding pass." She expressed other pleasantries, and I left to find a seat to figure things out. So, Southwest has delayed my plane for an hour, given me a 3 hour lay-over, made me lose my premium seat (A30), and will now get me in to Orlando at 12:05 am the next day, all without a single apology, let alone some form of compensation!!! Now that's service!

Of course, our 12:20 pm departure was changed to 12:30 pm, but didn't actually leave until 12:45 pm. And the flight took about 20 minutes longer than expected. We pulled into gate C18. The nice elderly folks in my row were catching a connection to Ft. Lauderdale at gate C21 and were just barely going to make it. I was at gate C25, though I didn't have such time constraints. Getting off the plane...wait a minute this isn't gate C18. It's gate C7! That poor elderly couple had to practically run to get to their gate on time.

At gate C25 I gave the male attendant my information and tappity-tappity-tapped me into boarding order B15. Just like that 45 additional people got to choose their seats before me. Not a "Sorry", a "Thank You", or even a "Have a nice flight" from the man. I just left and as I slowly cruised the terminal taking my time to find a place to eat, I'm pretty sure people tried to avoid the man with the smoke coming out of his ears. Before I boarded flight 75 I was able to finish off the last third of my book (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows).

Well, as luck would have it flight 75 was delayed 20 minutes. Still, we pulled back from the gates 30 minutes late. What the heck is it with this company!!! Not wanting to read any more (having read for nearly eight hours straight) I just closed my eyes and tried to nod off. I thought of playing the piano to popular songs that I like, and of flying a small Cessna, and was able to catch a few winks. Finally we landed and parked at the gate at what must have been 12:30 am.

My bag was one of the first couple dozen that came out, so I snatched it and headed for the rental cars. At the very end of the line of rental cars was AVIS, posting signs that if you were a Preferred Service member (I am) to "proceed straight to the garage behind you" to the kiosk on the second level. Behind me was a road with trees on the other side of it...I saw no garage. I went downstairs only to find that I was in some basement. I went back upstairs not sure what to do. A flight attendant saw me in this state and pointed me in the right direction, which was apparently to go to the other side of the trees.

Across the street and up the escalator I approached the AVIS kiosk...and the lights were out. What the heck do I do? First I started looking at the cars in the lot to see if they just left the keys in the car, like at Albuquerque. Nope. Then I thought I'd call the AVIS number to ask what to do. No phone service in the garage. Then it finally dawned on me: duh, I need to go back to the AVIS desk. I was livid as I walked back. I contemplated going up to the "proceed to the garage" signs, pulling them out of their poles, and throwing them on the ground. Fortunately, I regained my composure just in time.

Now, I'm not an elitist, but the fact that I had to wait in line behind two waiting non Preferred Service members really irked me. Sure it was nearly 1:00 am, but that membership should count for something. Even more livid I approached the counter and said four words, my body language making it perfectly clear not to mess with me: "Reservation for Eric Thomas". Well, I think she got the point. She Tappity-tappity-tapped me into a black Ford Mustang in near silence. Parking spot E8 was my gateway to being done with this whole airport business. I had spent about six hours on airplanes and five hours at airports.

Google maps had pretty good directions, and Florida is fairly well signed, or so I thought. My trip to the hotel started off well until I got to my first main highway. It turns out it was a tollway, and I had no idea how much the toll was. To Google's credit, the directions said it was a tollway and had initially offered me an alternate route. I should have paid more attention to the directions when I printed them out. Anyway, I saw no signs for the toll price. Now, at 1:20 am, there are only going to be three lanes open, one for the EZ-Pass, one for exact change in coins, and one for people can't provide exact change. There are many toll lanes but at this time of night there is only enough staffing for one "change provided" lane. I got in line behind 20 other cars, and the line wasn't moving too quickly.

A few minutes in I noticed that other cars were passing me, and cutting ahead in line! This wasn't like two lanes merging into one on the highway. This was like people cutting in line at the movie theater! Three or four cars did this, and finally one black SUV decided he would be cutting in front of me. Okay, sure it was rude, but nothing to cry about. Next thing I know, a white PT cruiser pulls up right behind the SUV and starts tailgating. Oh no way am I going to let that B**** in!!! I give the SUV just enough room to squeeze in, but the PT Cruiser just keeps coming over. She's not getting the hint! Maybe I don't have the guts (after all, it is an expensive rental car), but when she got within a few inches of my car, I had to give in, honking at her as if it would do any good. I don't remember a time when I've been more pissed off. I was seriously considering getting out of the car to give her some nasty words. I've never been so close to road rage. On the other hand I never thought any other state could have more rude and inconsiderate drivers than California!

Well, I got to the window and the toll was 75 cents. I had 75 cents in exact change...could have used the exact change line. There was another toll booth just a few miles down the road. How much was this going to cost? Well it turns out that was the last one. Ten minutes later I was pulling in to the hotel parking lot.

I've been writing this blog post for exactly one hour. It is now 2:50 am local time, and I'll be waking up in less than five hours. But I just had to write this blog to get out my rage. Well, the rage is still there but at least I can share my experience. I'm not laughing now, and I'm sure I won't be laughing about it for at least a week. But there is a good lesson learned here. When money is not a major factor, getting a non-stop flight is a way better idea. If you have a lay-over and miss your connection due to delays (which are more and more common these days), all hell is bound to break loose. Fork out the extra dough for a non-stop!